Currently averaging a post a month. Must step this up a bit.
As I consider starting to think about maybe one day dating I am reminded of the rules of dating. You know them. There are spoken rules, the ones that generally revolve around morals, decency and appropriate dinner conversation. You might think these rules would be obvious, but since men don’t always get it, they must occasionally be formally stated (and I’m not male-bashing here; I just have three brothers).
Then there are the unwritten rules. I have to assume that most casual daters are familiar with at least a couple of these. Rules that govern whether or not you are worthy of a second date, or even a movie after dinner.
1. Ladies: head’s up. Apparently there is a rule about opening the car door for a man. Guys may extend courtesy to the point of opening the car door for you but beware. Some men use the rule that you have to lean over and unlock or open their door before they get back around to the drivers side (totally assuming the male has to be the driver). This is not just a myth, in case you have heard this on; I had a date who informed me that I “passed the test” after I unlocked the door for him. On a side note here- I consider it good manners to reciprocate and help the man in the car by unlocking the door. I consider it bad manners to tell the girl she was being tested afterward.
2. Ladies and Gentleman: The 3 questions rule. I consider this a very valid test and have used it myself, both to judge myself and my dates. It you ask your date three questions about themselves before they ask you even one about yourself, then forget it. I apply this rule cautiously. Don’t rapid fire questions at them, make sure they have a chance to ask you something in between. Meanwhile, I also want to make sure I am learning about him and not just yapping about myself. I have only had one guy fail this test, and let me tell you, it accurately weeded out a self-absorbed, somewhat ditzy guy who I was happy to pass on.
3. Don’t ever take a first date to meet friends or family. Maybe this is obvious and I just didn’t really know it. Some people may have friends who can restrain themselves and not embarrass you, but why take the chance? My last first date met my friends who proceeded to mock his pool playing and absolutely everything about me. He didn’t run out of the place, but he must have set fire to my phone number.
I think it’s possible that dating is just learning the rules. Perhaps that is why I am single- clearly I haven’t learned the rules at ALL. Being in an educational environment, let’s say flirting is a 100 level class, dating is a 200 level class and marriage is a graduate course. I’m way behind on pre-requisites here… Damn it.