My cousin has her own blog (which actually inspired me to start this one- more on THAT later) and a recent post was very poignant. My cousin split up with the man she thought she was going to marry, two years ago. She blames herself, but I blame a certain lack of understanding and the inability for men and women to ever really be on the same timeline/wavelength/agree on anything more important than pizza toppings.
But that’s really just an excuse, and I have spent my whole life making excuses. I don’t have a tragic love story, not really, because I have never committed enough to a guy to have my heart broken. In short, I am a big chicken. I can’t complain about not having a boyfriend; I complain about any guy I date even once long before I can allow him to reach a status more serious than ‘disastrous first date’. So while my cousin is sad, and continues to miss him and stumble through a life that inevitably throws salt on her wound, I can safely offer advice devoid of experience and true understanding.
In some ways, my life has been similar to my cousins. We have a lot of things in common, and I have followed her steps in some ways (ie. blog you now read). But I have avoided many of her scarier choices, because I have seen some of the tough times she has had. That may be good in some ways, but in other ways I think that I have less to show for my life than she does. I am happy, so I’m ok with that right now, but she has, and always will have, better stories and more experiences. And one day, she will have what she deserves: a deeper love than I can ever hope to imagine. Unless I learn to take the plunge.
Ah- I’ll work on it when I come back from vacation.